As the saying goes – the worst thing about being rich is having to hang out with rich people. Never has this philosophy held more true than in the case of the 2014 Erik Van Looy erotic thriller “The Loft,” which focuses a carnal filled plot with a whodunit style murder, the primary suspects being five yuppie type and completely reprehensible douche bags.
“The Loft” begins as a typical flashback type movie. Vincent (Karl Urban) is in a police interrogation room, being questioned about shady behavior.
The movie flashes back to various points in time, all beginning at a party one year prior when Vincent and four of his friends agree to split the cost of an upscale downtown New Orleans loft unit, its intended use being a place they can conduct extramarital affairs in secrecy.
Luke (Wentworth Miller of TV’s Prison Break) returns to the loft one morning to discover the grisly scene of a mutilated female corpse handcuffed to the bed and sprawled across the blood soaked mattress. Luke calls the four other friends, and much of the movie occurs in the loft as they each take turns defending themselves and accusing each other, all within the same room as the corpse on the bed.
As a character driven movie, the stars of “The Loft” are hot or miss. Karl Urban as Vincent, the leader of the group, is a deplorable and sleazy guy who for some reason, women gawk at when he enters a room. The character is married to a beautiful woman but of course that isn’t enough – he needs every other attractive woman he encounters, which come easy since all women that he meets seemingly melt in a pile of their own hormones in his presence (I don’t see why he’s so great but hey, that’s me). Urban is solid in the role though nothing too special.
James Marsden plays Chris, and like Vincent seems to have been chosen for no other reason than he’s a pretty face. He is supposed to by a renowned psychiatrist which is comical at best – he looks about 28 though the actor is actually 41 – but with the piercing blue eyes and taut cheekbones he looks more like he belongs posing shirtless in a pair of Calvin Klein boxer briefs.
Wentworth Miller does a decent job in the role of Luke, though the way he delivers lines in that flinty whisper makes even the benign sound so creepy. I get the feeling Miller couldn’t order a cup of coffee without sounding suspicious.
Eric Stonenstreet (famous as Cam from TV’s Modern Family) is great in the role of Marty – the only member of the group not chiseled in the mold of an Adonis and therefore adding plausibility that the others seem to lack a bit. One scene depicts a drunken Marty teetering on the brink of revealing the loft to the wives. The tension is great in this scene and Stonestreet shows he’s a very god actor.
I discovered Matthias Schoenaerts in “The Drop” and he instantly became one of my new favorite actors. Schoenaerts is the inadvertent star of the movie in the role of Phillip. Phillip is the least mentally balanced of the group (a perfect fit for the talents of Schoenaerts) an abusive and borderline psychotic who’s addicted to sex, bondage, and cocaine. A scene where Phillip goes at it with Chris is a perfect representation of Schoenaerts rising stardom in the role of someone vile.
As the five friends discuss their plans for what to d0 next, flashbacks are scattered throughout for the audience to make up their own decision.
Additional red herrings are tossed in as well, like Phillip’s slimy father in law, a potentially corrupt politician, a lustful and mysterious blonde (Rachael Taylor), and of course the wives of the men involved.
The characters are anything but sympathetic. In fact, I don’t think I have ever witnessed a group of more detestable people in a movie. Cheating, blackmail, and lecherous activity come as second nature to this gaggle of jocks.
“I’m not like that.” Chris whines at one point when Vincent suggests the purchase of the loft for no other reason than to cheat in secrecy. “Come on Chris, we’re men. We’re all like that.” Vincent replies with a smug grin and frat boy like candor.
Just to clarify – no we’re not all like that, Vincent.
Many plot holes need to be overlooked in order to pass the reality test. The men bicker over who killed the mystery woman but in reality, why would any of them do it knowing there is no way to get away with it after chaining her to the bed.
And since they are all married to beautiful women, the question begs – if you wanted to play the field and have every opportunity to do so, why get married in the first place? And how could these guys go in on the purchase of a property that could cost no less than two million dollars without their wives finding out? An architect? A psychiatrist? A construction worker? A little shaky.
Overall, “The Loft” is a decent movie. The elements of the murder mystery are packed with tension and the flashback style format will give you something to think about as you watch. The ending is pretty bad but its still worth checking out.
by – Matt Christopher
