You guys may remember the time Alicia Keys belted out, “New York! Concrete jungle where dreams are made of…” How could you not — that song was everywhere! And also WRONG! I mean, I’m speaking as a Knicks fanatic, and fewer fates seem more horrific to endure through this thing we call life.
Now I’m sure some of these characters in slasher flicks would disagree. I mean, living life as nothing more than a pin cushion for some masked maniac to slice and dice…! I’ll admit, that sounds almost as traumatic as being a Knicks fan. So yeah, personal experience speaking here, New York is more likely to cause you nightmares.
The Big Apple is the Scene for Horror
And wouldn’t you know it… as fate would have it, the Big Apple serves as the setting for the latest setting in the super-meta-super-awesome horror franchise, “Scream VI.” Now this isn’t the first time a wicked horror film has taken place in New York. I imagine you are familiar with “Maid In Manhattan,” the Jennifer Lopez vehicle. Joking! That movie is killer. No, I’m talking about the magnificent misfire “Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan.” Which lends the question, which film did New York better? Don’t look at me for an answer. These are my two favorite horror franchises. For the love! We’ve got ourselves a real “Sophie’s Choice” here! Okay, okay, come along for the ride and I’ll do my best, somehow.
“Scream VI” is new and shiny. Following the awesome yet commercially underperforming “Scream 4” in 2011, it seemed like this franchise was as dead as Stu Macher after that tele crushed his dome. Yet somehow the franchise found itself reanimated last year with the confusingly titled, “Scream.” With some old cast, some new faces, and intensified gore and meta humor, “Scream” rose from the dead like Frankenstein’s monster himself. Speaking of, this is as good as any time to introduce my new writing partner and best friend, Frankenstein. Though, as of this writing, he has about 17 different names, most prominently, Det. Francis Mittens. He’s a no-nonsense polydactyl private eye with a weakness for cat-nip and scotch, and a crippling addiction to belly rubs. He’s a good cat and he says, “meow.”
Ghostface and a Wonderful Subway Scene
Where were we? Oh yes. With the wildly unexpected success of “Scream,” here we are a year later with “Scream VI.” It’s great. I mean, the kills are over the top, the whodunnit is as strong as ever, and this group of characters… you really feel good about them. They feel like they can be your friends, and it’s with that that the intense audience connection was built.
We’re not so reliant on legacy characters here. The torch has no doubt been passed. The person under the Ghostface costume may always change, but you get the same voice and wild times, and I’m here for it. But it could’ve been set anywhere. I mean, New York and the wonderful subway scene (no spoilers here, but this was heavily featured in the marketing), holy sweet goddamn. I’m sitting in the movies and my heart was racing. Now yeah, it could’ve been the two nicotine lozenges I was chomping getting the blood pumping, but I’ll give the credit to the Scream Team.
But overall, New York served it well. Not being in Woodsboro and was more fun say than Hollywood was in “Scream 3…” but yeah, the change of location in “Scream 2” worked better. It could be that New York comes with an expectation of upped stakes, but I’ll say this: It didn’t hurt the movie, but other than the subway scene, its return on investment is minimal.
Jason Takes Manhattan… or at Least a Boat
Now! Compare that to when Jason took Manhattan. What in the fresh hell was that? My earliest memory of “Jason Takes Manhattan” is walking around Reel Deel video and seeing the VHS box with the New York City skyline over Jason’s mask as it sat upon the water. I mean it’s iconic as hell. Speaking of Reel Deel, someone read my last article here and guffed me for not including Reel Deel when talking about going to the video store vs. streaming. And to that person, if you’re reading this, don’t try and knock me off of my Wicker Throne. And next time you want to complain about my writing, don’t do it while we’re sitting at the movies waiting for “Scream VI” to start. Everyone’s a critic I guess, but it’s last time I pay for their popcorn.
When Joe Bob Briggs would introduce “Jason Takes Manhattan” on “Monster Vision” back in the day, he’d lean into the ridiculous nature of the “Friday” series and be like, why not have Jason go to New York? The whole franchise is ludicrous. Yet when Jason rolls out into Manhattan, I mean the movie is just about over. It should’ve been called ‘Voorhees of the Caribbean.’
Jason is a Cut Above Ghostface in the End
Now I will say, it does have one of the greatest kills in the franchise, when Jason punches Julius (V.C. Dupree) and literally decapitates him. Bah Gawd! How could Julius have possibly thought he would box Jason to death?? Doesn’t matter though; it’s amazing and Kane Hodder in his second go round as Jason just owns the role. But still, by this time the “Friday” franchise was worn, cheap, overdone, campy, lacking all continuity and credibility, devoid of any logical explanation for Jason’s continued existence, and worse of all, on that boat ride to Manhattan the franchise jumped at least three sharks. And I’m going to tell you… I LOVE IT! The complete lunacy is what warms my goddamn heart at night. If I wanted to watch a nicely wrapped package of a film, I’d go back to that aforementioned horror flick “Maid In Manhattan.” “Jason Takes Manhattan” is one cut above “Scream VI” and I refuse to apologize.
Saying you need a horror film to make sense is like saying you expect the Knicks to win the NBA Championship. It’s the heartbreak that keeps you coming back for more punishment! And with Jason, it’s the sheer lack of anything resembling sense that makes you want to keep tuning in. If they announced a new “Friday” movie tomorrow and it was titled ‘Friday the 13th: Jason Tweets Baking Recipes With His Mom’s Severed Head,’ you better believe Francis Mittens and I would be there with our pen and pads ready to see how he prepares a cheesecake.
