Rosemary’s Baby (R)

The opening to the 1968 horror classic “Rosemary’s Baby” consists of the cacophonous striking of an out of tune piano preceding a haunting and melodic chant of La La La La. Its the type of open that instantly sends a shiver up your spine and leaves horror movie purists eagerly awaiting what should be great film.

136 minutes later, the Roman Polanski, piece which was nominated for two Academy Awards (winning one) and widely regarded as one of horror’s all time greats, finishes up as a dull and barely watchable movie.

“Rosemary’s Baby” is on of the first horror movies to tackle the themes of demonic possession. In the near half-century since its release, movies like classic “The Exorcist” and recent “Paranormal Activity” have borrowed the satanic themes and elements of evil supernatural beings coming into our safe world.

We open with  young couple; Rosemary (Mia Farrow) and Guy (John Cassavetes) moving into an enviable New York City high rise apartment. Of course the previous tenant was a mysterious old woman who died shortly before, but the apartment manager assures the couple she didn’t pass on inside the unit itself.

Signs of scares are present from the start. The couple notice things are amiss, such as a large antique dresser blocking a door, the classical piece “Fur Elise” playing softly from the walls of another loft, and a bloody suicide by an ominous and sultry neighboring tenant. At the onset, we can easily see that when Polanski wasn’t sexually courting children he could put together components of a horror masterpiece.

There’s a great ambiance when the movie first starts. The year is 1965. The film quality isn’t great (which adds to the tension). Scenes are solid, like one depicting Rosemary and Guy seated on the hardwood floor of the baron apartment the night they move in having a makeshift picnic dinner. There are unsettling undertones present and horror triumph is ripe for the taking.

And then…that’s it. Back and forth drawn out conversations, boring back stories of strange old neighbors, and the humdrum events of everyday life ensue for the duration of the film. Nothing at all occurs in the way of scares.

The gist could have been revealed in a handful of minutes; Rosemary gets pregnant, the weird old tenants are into satanic rituals, Beelzebub himself wants to be born form Rosemary’s womb. Instead, Polansi treats the viewer to dullness and overall fatigue as the story goes on and on and on with nothing of note happening.

The ending scene is one of supposed cinematic perfection. When it finally occurs, its laughable at best with overly dramatic and borderline comical lines and a reveal so crippled by poor technology you’ll literally have to rewind and re-watch in slow motion, just to reach the conclusion of…is that it?

Mia Farrow is the lone bright spot in terms of talent. Starting off as the cute and naïve Rosemary, she transforms into a sickly shell of herself once saddled with the pregnancy. Farrow is effective in the portrayal and does a good job with what’s given to her.

The rest of the cast are interchangeable parts and seem to be along for the ride with nothing of fervor provided in the way of a great performance.

The Library of Congress has deemed “Rosemary’s Baby” to be “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant” and one that should be selected for preservation in the National Film Registry.

The Library of Congress may want to use that space for something else. “Rosemary’s Baby” isn’t a true classic that just fails to withstand the test of time, its a boring and forgettable movie no matter what decade you are watching it in.

by – Matt Christopher