The Pyramid (R)

Horror movies generally fall into one of two categories; intricate plot with psychological terror or sheer blood baths filled with gore and one by one deaths. The 2014 found footage flop “The Pyramid” tries to be both, and succeeds only in falling short.

The plot is interesting; during the 2013 Egypt Uprising, an archaeological crew discovers a new pyramid. The find of the century brings a documentary crew and a father/daughter archaeological team inside the millennia old crypt where of course, terror and slaughter ensues.

Writers Daniel Meersand and Nick Simon create an interesting concept, but the sheer volume of story lines gets overwhelming quickly. The archaeological experts have vast expertise about the ancient Egyptians, but the inclusion of space aliens having a hand in building the Pyramids is forgotten completely when they go inside.

Likewise, the relationship between the Holdens;  father (Denis O’Hare) and daughter (Ashley Hinshaw) is a bit cliche; shes a spunky newcomer that uses satellites to find discoveries, he operates with the troglodyte motto of lets stay in the past. “Archaeology used to be about digs and dirt, now its all about technology.” He states like a typically inept fool. Dr. Miles Holden looks about 45-50 years old, not 95, so it does seem a bit unusual.

The disaster begins when the multi million dollar NASA rover “shorty” is stranded inside the ominous 3 sided pyramid. Shorty, said to have been designed to role on the surface of Mars, looks like a good stiff breeze would tear it apart.

Young and feisty Dr. Nora Holden goes against her father’s orders and leads a crew inside for reasons split between getting the rover back and experiencing history. A documentary crew follows her in, creating the found footage format the movie is presented in.

“The Pyramid” is a typical horror movie that includes gratuitous deaths and little in the way of enjoyment. None of the characters are sympathetic or enjoyable to watch. Even the gorgeous Ashley Hinshaw comes short in the role of Dr. Nora Holden since all of the carnage and violent deaths can and should be attributed to her and her decision to enter the pyramid.

I would fail the movie outright but there is one saving grace – the reveal of the monster at the end of the movie is a thing of total coolness. One scene in particular is chilling as we watch the beast stomping about through the night vision lens on the camera.

Nevertheless, the movie flops as a whole. Google pics of the monster and save yourself the time in watching.

by – Matt DeCristo